A Mississippi coast update from Stacy...

For those of you who have read this blog, you will remember Stacy ( and those who do not, you can read about her in the following blog entries). Here is her most recent update and comments about the coastal situation:

Hi Everyone!
I just wanted to check in and give all of you an update on our hurricane recovery. My little town of Bay St. Louis is slowly coming back to life...Sonic opened recently and now Walmart (which had 14ft of water in it) has finally opened in a building....for a long time it was located in a tent in the parking lot only selling basic essentials. The "new" walmart is set up similiar to a Sam's . clothing is on tables, most items are still in the shipping boxes, etc... no frills, bakery, deli, etc. Very different. Progress is the key here. It would be nice if other stores would follow suit, but almost all shopping center parking lots are still occupied with relief tents and church groups that are giving almost anything you can think of away. Most of our churches have been destroyed, so going to church is an event in itself...very crowded and almost impossible to get a spot in a cry room, if one still exists. To say that life after Katrina is forever changed is an understatement. Orange Beach has been wonderful on weekends and even more of a blessing to have for Thanksgiving dinner, but the reality of living in a travel trailer 95% of the time has been the most challenging.
We purchased our "FEMA" christmas tree tonight at Lowe's. The company decided to send pint sized trees to accommodate those of us that are unable to have a regular tree this season. It sits about 2ft tall or so and is located on my "kitchen" table...a far cry from my normal 9ft trees...I guess it's a good thing it is small, because my ornaments all need to be replaced too. Dinner is extremely interesting b/c we have to move the tree to have supper! I hope it doesn't seem as if I am complaining. I only wanted to touch base and give you all a little piece of how things are going here.
I know there are a handful of you wonderful ladies that I haven't sent thank you's to yet. I have misplaced my "sisterhood" notebook with my addresses, etc. I promise that everything that was sent is very much appreciated and your "official" thanks will be to you shortly. Please accept my apology. :)I will be in touch.
Again, thank you all for your support, thoughts and prayers. I am truly blessed to have you all so close to my heart.
Liob,Stacy

The need to do something...

When I began my road trip to deliver relief supplies to the Mississippi coast, I had no specific destination in mind. Trusting God to lead me to the place of his/her choosing, I set out on a 9 day journey that changed the way I see the world. The daily logs I've posted are journal entries I made to a listserve I subscribe to for my Sorority sisters- Phi Mu. They followed my travels in my daily journal, encouraged me, fed and housed me for much of my trip. To them I owe more than I will ever be able to repay.
State Farm agents and associates in the New Jersey area donated relief supplies to make the trip worthwhile for those in need. They are my friends, a wonderful group of caring people to whom I owe a deep debt of gratitude. And to the many people I have met and continue to meet on this journey I call " The Katrina Project", I say thank you for giving of yourselves to make a difference for others. In the end it will take all of us...every one of us...to help bring back the people we have seen struggle in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. By each of us doing something...the kindness and generosity of even the simplest gesture will change the world.

Photos from Waveland

This is the main street heading toward the beach in Waveland Mississippi. The tidal surge of 50 feet came ashore here and swept everything out to sea..homes, cars, trees, animals and whatever people remained to try and ride out the storm.

Since many of these homes had survived Camille, there was an assumption that they would also stand up to the winds from Katrina. As you can see, there is literally nothing left except debris.

Our response to a natural disaster

It's hard to know what to say about the events of the past week. My mind is struggling with the enormity of the devestation and the journey that lies ahead. I'm overwhelmed with a feeling of helplessness and sorrow for our friends, our nation and especially our sisters in Phi Mu. Unlike any time on our history, it's time to put personal agendas and political opinions aside and work as a team to save our fellow citizens.

There will be time to analyze and criticize the response to the disaster. We have history to thank for giving us time and perspective on this as the months and years roll along. It's tempting to be political and angry at whatever forces we think are responsible for the Chaos. But the truth is that life is full of challenges, sorrow and shining moments of joy amidst the events in our world. The best we can do is rise to the heights of what we are capable of and do the things we can to try and help our fellow man ( woman).

For me, I expect to find myself working in the Mississippi/NO area for State Farm in the coming days. I'm actually scared ( not something I experience often to be honest) to pack my car and travel without any promise of gas and food to get home. I have no guarantee of a place to sleep while I am away. But one of the State Farm agents in New orleans is living out of a suitcase, has not home, no office and is sinking into depression. I can drive to his location, put my arms around him and tell him that while I can't make everything okay, I can give him a chance to help his own family and head up his office operation for a few days while he manages his personal affairs. It's what I know how to do.

I have given money to Phi Mu Foundation for the heart and hand fund. I have given to the Red cross. I am trying to do the small things I believe are within my control to manage my own stress over the events at hand. Somehow it helps me feel like I have a focus, at least temporarily. I would urge each and every one of you to do the same- reach out to your church, your community and Phi Mu and see where you can help.

If you want to lead an effort, you may need to learn how to follow. If you want to follow, you may need to overcome your fear and learn how to lead. If you have no money to give, you may need to be creative and find a way to raise funds to help others. If you feel you have too many problems of your own, you may need to find perspective and set aside one or two things in order to find the time and concentration to help. In other words, while reaching out to others now is overwhelming and personally difficult, you may need to alter your personal vision and shift paradigms about your role in the world. And I guarantee you one thing will be true in the end: You will not ever be the same, and you will have learned more than you can imagine.

I would love to hear from each of you the things that you are doing individually, corporately and within your communities to effect positive change for those who are homeless and have lost all that is dear to them. I know as Phi Mu women we are capable of making a huge difference because we see things in our sisterhood that makes us bond together to work toward the commmon good. It's a tight bond. In fact, I believe it can withstand the biggest natural disaster and the worst personal tragedy because it is based in faith and love for each other. Love never dies, never ends and always gives openly and generously.

I want to thank Jennifer Stanik for her inspired gift card suggestion. I want to thank Shannon Snow for her phone call to me the other day to suggest and ebay garage sale to raise funds for Heart and Hand. I want to thank the sister in Florida who is willing to donate a size 8 petite business suit to one of our area collegiate directors who lost everything in her apartment. And I want to thank each of YOU~ each and every one of you~ for what you are about to do for others. I do love you all, far beyond what I ever imagined when I gave my oath of allegiance almost 27 years ago.

Audrey Jankucic
State Farm Agent
Beta Psi 1979

Day #1, on the way to Mississippi

Let me begin by saying there are worse ways to spend a day than traveling thru the Shenandoah Valley! The scenery is spectacular, and made the time pass quickly.

It's been a while since I had so much time to pay attention to my surroundings. I don't get much "down" time in general, and so I think I was extra tuned in - at least for me- to the things going on around me. That probably sounds hilarious to some of you! Those who know me know that I can be bubbleheaded when I have too many things on my plate. Today my head was firmly planted on my shoulders. Maybe I should drive around at length more often!

I left NJ with a 4x8 u-haul of items given to the relief effort by State Farm associates in the state of NJ. It's not a lot when you think of the scope of the destruction, but given that we had just over 24 hours to put it together, it was a solid gesture. They sent me off with a bang..I felt like I was doing the right thing.

Nick was very concerned about my management of the uhaul, and getting South safely. I cried a bit when I left...It's hard to say goodbye when you are going so far alone, but Nick is such a good husband and wants me to do what I think in my heart is the right thing to do. So he did what he could to make the trip easy...And called me a lot today to see how I was progressing.

Today seemed to divide itself into Thumbs up and thumbs down things....
Thumbs Up to:
NICK!!!
Tracy Kunz who called me to wish me well..thank you!
The Shenandoah valley- God knew it was a spectacular creation when it was made.
State Farm associates who made me feel like family.
XM radio! (did you know that most of the songs by 80's band ABC are identical melodies with different words?)
The McDonald's Corporation- for a number of very convenient rest stops along the way!
Gas at 2.95 a gallon!
Gas at 2.81 a gallon!
Alison Krause and Union Station on the CD
A vivid imagination that kept my mind occupied.
Bottled water
NO LOCKS ON ICE containers at gas stations in VA! ( Hey, in NJ we lock EVERYTHING)
Santa Barbara Olive company jalapeno stuffed olives
Virginia Peanut company wasabi peanuts
The listserve! I thought of you all a lot today!

Thumbs down:
Tractor trailers on route 78 in PA
Tractor trailers on route 81 in Pa
Tractor trailers in general...
Smoking in VA restaurants! ( Okay, I'm a spoiled NJ/NY girl when it comes to this... Smoking is banned for us in most restaurants, but apparently not in tobacco country)

As you can see, it was a good day....

Will log in tomorrow. I made it to Salem VA, so I did well on travel. Hope tomorrow is as kind.
Audrey Jankucic
Beta Psi 1979

Day #2, On the road again!

I made it to Birmingham! It was a butt buster in the car all day, but heck, I did a full 8 hours of driving thru 4 states. The terrain was a shifting display...mountains gave way to rolling hills, and finally into the lower lying delta earth of Alabama. The drive went by quickly...

When I checked into my hotel tonight, there were 2 young girls with their mom coming in...and they each had a cat in their arms. Truly beautiful cats. I asked them if they were show cats ( just making some light conversation to break the ice) and they said no, and then I asked if they liked to ride in the car, and they said "not really, we are from New Orleans".
Many others are here with their kids- the staff at the front desk clearly love the children who are staying here for an indefinite period. They hold them and play with them behind the desk...very beautiful moments.

Today's Thumbs up to:
*Cruise control!
*A speed limit of 70 mph!
*No traffic!
*Little or no constuction!
*THE FIREWORKS SUPERSTORE! Who would have thought that you could sell only fireworks...and in a superstore no less!
*Funny Billboards! ( Be nice to strangers..visit your inlaws!)
*Trucks travelling with me that have big signs on them saying "hurricane relief" from Saugerties Ny and Massachussetts.
*There really IS a Chatanooga CHoo CHoo!

Thumbs down to:
*Bugs on my windshield...many many bugs!
*Butt numbness.

Sister Shout outs!!!!!
*Shellye McCarty who is going to let me stay with her in Magee MS. Thank you!
*Jenn Stanik who caled me twice today to chat. Thanks for the fun distraction!
*Rhonda Jones! You rock in the directions and places to go department!
*Kelly Evans~thanks for hosting poker for Princeton as I will not be home in time to get my house ready.
*Tricia Jennings! Thanks for all of your help coordinating help for Stacy.
*Stacy Brown! I'm sorry I did not get in to Chatinooga in time for lunch...but thank you so much for your offer to stay at your home. It brought tears to my eyes.

Will check in tomorrow if I have internet.
Audrey Jankucic
Beta psi 1979

Day #3, Made it to Mississippi

I finally made it to Mississippi today. If it's possible the live 1000 years in one day, today was my thousand year day.

It's hard to know where to start, because the day began as a travel day much like the last 2. I enjoyed the music and scenery and the Bay of Mobile drive is spectacular. Geeze, I have not been a very good American about seeing my own country while I've done a ton of Europe. Shame on me.

When I hit Interstate 10, the hurricane damage began to creep up on me as I drove west toward New Orleans. It began with billboards and trees, then roofs were damaged, then roofs were gone...When I hit the bridge in Mississippi, part of the eastbound flow had been chewed up and spit out. I knew that if a storm could do this much damage to concrete and iron girders, what I was about to come upon in Bay St. Louis/Waveland was going to be difficult.
I met up with our Phi Mu sister Stacy Garcia, who lost everything in the hurricane and gave her a few things,including your good wishes, then drove to Bay St. Louis to deliver hurricane relief items I had in the Uhaul. Stacy gave me directions to go to the end of the road and take a left to get to the red cross shelter at the high school, but I think she intended for me to turn off before the beach. I did not do that, and ended up on another planet.
Mattresses in trees, foundations of homes with no home on top of them, parts of peoples lives strewn all over the sand. Aside from the one lone hold out ( with an American flag in front of his tent and a sign that said " come on the property and I will shoot") there was no one there except the military who were patrolling and the electric companies trying to re-string wires for power to homes that no longer exist. Very surreal.
I turned around. I drove back to the main street, or what was left of it. People are staying in tents everywhere...They have nothing, and are trying to piece lives together out of whatever small amount of relief supplies that may have landed nearby. I thought to myself ~ is this my country?

I was directed to drop items at the airport where the military are staging a substantial relief effort..But it seems to be a lot of planning right now, and they are miles from the heart of the people they are there to serve. Maybe they will transport them over once tents are set up, I don't know. I dropped the items I had brought in the uhaul and drove back to Hattiesburg at dusk so that I could avoid being stuck in the car all night with no way to get out after Marshall Law kicks in.

Cathy Sessums has graciously allowed me to stay in her very palacious home while I am here which allows me to go back to Bay St. Louis tomorrow. I'm going to stop at Walmart and buy more supplies to donate...they need EVERYTHING.

I will stop at Shellye's on the way home later in the week.

It is an amazing grace that we all stand together to help each other.
While dropping off supplies, I was interviewed by channel 4, WNBC out of New York! It should be on tomorrow's news, not sure if it's am or pm, but if you are in the NYC market, you should see me dropping off supplies and answering questions. I guarantee they butcher my last name, but what the heck!

Thumbs up today to:
*Target! They have a Starbucks in Target! I finally got a good cup of coffee!
*Lots of heavy duty construction vehicles heading into the damage area....
*Dixie! It's not just a little cup to drink out of at night. It's a way of life.
*The blessing of sun and clear weather for the drive
*Spanish moss hanging from trees...makes me think of the bayou.
*The Mississippi delta. It's beautiful
*Gas at 2.59 a glon!
*Gas at 2.45 per gallon!
*A butterfly who flew around my car while I waited in traffic on I-10
* The blessed resilience of the human spirit.

Thumbs Down:
* Traffic! Due to the storm, but I do hate sitting in traffic to cross a bridge for an hour.
* The bridge crossing into mobile...It's high! I'm afraid of heights! I almost hyperfine when I crossed the highest part!
* No phone signal in many areas here, understandable, but worries my husband when he cannot reach me and does not know where I am.


God bless, and thank you for the generosity of your spirits as so many of you have hearts as open as the sea....

Audrey

FYI, here is an update on Stacy and her family as of 10/21/05...
Stacy called me the other day and we had a wonderful long chat! As she said, email just can't do justice to all she had to relay. All is going as well as expected on her end. Her grandparents have moved out of the Orange Beach apt into a small trailer that she can, at least, call her own and they have been reunited with their dear doggie, who's been spending the time in a local kennel. They have registered for a FEMA trailer, but not sure when or where that will happen. Life is hectic for Stacy, Phil & little Philip as they daily try to cope with what life has sent them. They will be keeping the Orange Beach condo til at least after Xmas so that their entire family will have some place to congregate for the holidays. At present, Stacy & Phil go back on weekends, spending the week in the their little trailer. Stacy's school has reopened & she's busy trying to make some sort of normalcy for her kids. Phil is busy trying to get commercial heating & cooling systems up and running all over the area. Little Philip's birthday party was a huge success, if only attended by a small group. Last, but certainly not least, Stacy has been so overwhelmed by the love of her Phi Mu sisters that its gotten her through most every trial.....Anyway, it was so wonderful to chat with her and know that I've made a distinct contribution to helping her family begin the road to recovery. :)

Just wanted to share with you!

love in our bond,
Lynn

Special animal lovers edition of the Mississippi trip...

Okay, for those of you who are animal fanatics (like me!) I wanted to give you a constructive way to help animals effected by the storm that is free, and does not require you to adopt yourself unless you want to.

Waveland MS had an animal shelter that was destroyed in the storm. Of course, this is one case in the multitude of shelters that were wiped away, but I was in that area this week and decided I would drive over last night before I drove back to Hattiesburg to see how I could help.
They do not need any more food supplies. But before the storm hit, they released the animals in the shelter hoping that they would somehow follow instincts and find a way to survive. In the end this was probably the most humane thing they could have done~ the alternative would have been certain death in the tsunami.

While all that remains of the shelter is a pile of rubble, the Mobile,AL ASPCA was there with cages and trucks trying to find pets that somehow survived. They had one cat in a crate. Poor guy was so stressed...I asked if I could take him home, but was told that they have to remain in MS for 30 days, then can be released to other states. I took a picture of him to show my husband. I'm going to put on my best "Please,Please,Please I want this cat" face when I get home, but Nick may not give in...we have 2 cats already who are 14, so I'm sure he would not want to upset the applecart. But if this cat is available, I'm going to try and find him a home.
They said there will be an overwhelming # of animals to manage, and that the best way to help right now is this:
Contact your local shelter ( preferably a non-destructive one) and tell them that you want to know if they will open up to animals from Mississippi. If they are open to the idea, please give them this number
1-888-722-3106
That is for the Mississippi State Vet office which approves all releases.
Then check the internet for animals that are up for adoption if you are willing to take on in yourself.

The email address is spca@mobilespca.org if you have questions.

We all have our favorite causes. For those who wish to make animals the priority, this is a very good constructive way to help, and it's free.

Meow,
Audrey

Update as of 10/21/05...
Excellent news today!

Remember I mentioned that I was going to ask my husband if I could adopt the cat that I saw being rescued in Waveland? For those of you who remember this part of my mississippi trip journal, I was going to give him my best "please, please, please I want this cat" face.

Sadly, that did not work. Nick gave me a flat out NO. not even an inch of wiggle room. Drat.

But I did call the shelter last week and forwarded them a photo of the cat because I had a friend who was interested in adopting. They called me back to say that the cat had already been adopted! How wonderful. It made my day.

For those of you who may be considering adding a pet into your family, the animals from the Waveland shelter and other rescued pets are now available for adoption. The 30 day waiting period for reuniting with original owners has passed. You can either look at www.petfinder.com or www.mobilespca.org for animals in need of a good home. They have had some success in reuniting owners with pets, but not enough. There's lots of love out there from an animal waiting for you to reach out and save it. What a good deed you would be doing for one of God's creatures.

Love in Our Bond,
Audrey Jankucic
Beta Psi 1979

Day #4, Bay St. Louis, September 11th, 2005

Sometimes it is the smallest things that hit me hardest...

I was tired when I got up today. But a few solid cups of Cathy Sessums coffee certainly brought me back from the dead! I stopped at Wal-mart on the way back to Bay St. Louis for a few items and noticed that even halfway back to Hattiesburg there are people living in parking lots.
There are 2 things I will never complain about again
1. There are not too many Wal-marts. Apparently when the storm had passed, Wal-mart opened it's doors in the affected areas and told people to take the things they needed. While some headed for the jewelry department ( can't account for idiots) most took the food and water they needed, nothing more. I will shop at Wal-mart more often I think.
2. There are not too many Starbucks! I no longer care if they are on every corner, in fact I now prefer that so that I can find good coffee whenever I want it.

I worked in the "tent" area today where we are doing the insurance equivalent of "triage" in a mash hospital. We try to sort out the worst cases from the lighter claims. We answer questions, we piece together parts of peoples lives. The claim reps working are so adept at the technology that I decided I would instead spend my day listening. I reminded myself that I have 2 ears and 1 mouth and decided to listen twice as hard as I ever have. I asked people questions about their lives, about their homes, pets, hurricane experience. While the general themes are similar, the details weave a tapestry that is very unique to each individual. I feel like I am creating a patchwork quilt in my memory of these people and their experiences in Katrina.

One couple told me about the farm they had...They built it themselves by hand, board by board. They had chickens, goats, dogs, rabbits...while the dogs are still with them, the remaining animals perished. He told me how he misses his goats the most....But they will rebuild, by hand, the house they planned to retire in. It will be hard, but they will make it work.
Another woman spoke to me about the "slab" she owns. It's all she has left. The storm surge took everything else. She did find 2 pieces of her grandmothers jewelry in the mud for which she feels lucky as so many have no items to treasure. She showed me both pieces of jewelry. After I wrote her a claim check, told her to save what receipts she may have, I offered to give her a plastic folder to hold her items in ( it's a 1.00 item at target) She remarked " This plastic folder is now my most prized possession...it's a place to keep the few things I have left." It was all I could do not to burst out in tears.


THOUGHT for the Day:
I am thankful today for many things. A wonderful husband, home, a job, friends, family, YOU, my dogs and cats, my Sisters in Phi Mu. After today I will not complain when I don't want to go to work, because I have a career that allows me to do the other things I love. I will not complain about the people who clean my house, because I am thankful I have a house to clean. I will not complain about how my husband's dog hogs the bed, because he is alive, well and living with us in safety as a part of out little tight knit family. I will not complain because I have too many Phi Mu things to do because when I needed sisters to help me help others the most, they were there. I will do what I can when I can. And when I have a disagreement with a sister, I am going to turn the other cheek because in the end all we really have is each other, like it or not. And it's always easier to be friends than to be enemies.

Thumbs up today to:
*Shellye who called me to wake me up at 7:30. I needed a wake up call!
*Cathy Sessums who continues to let me linger in her guest room and makes me food!
*Pam for this listserve which has been irreplaceable while I have been on the road. You have all kept my sanity.
* The state Farm claims people who are away from families for 30 days at a time to help these people try and recover lives that were swept out to sea...
* sleep that will overtake me at any moment. I'm tired in my bones.
* the Friday night poker game coming up.
* Sisterhood.

Thumbs down to:
* The 1.5 hour ride to and from Bay St. Louis each way each day.
* hurricane Ophelia...PLEASE do not come ashore on the east coast while I am away from my own office.

G'night....
Audrey

Day # 5, Signs and wonders, September 12th, 2005

Today was challenging on many levels. The traffic going toward Gulfport and Bay St. Louis was thick...heck, it felt like New Jersey! But I've been observing the content in the traffic over the past few days, and it was encouraging to see baby steps of forward movement via the backhoes and heavy duty equipment driving into the area, also more power seemed to have come on in areas. People are beginning to place their soggy belongings at the curb for disposal in some locations...others are decimated and will have to be bulldozed. I feel a little like I did after Sept 11th~ I wondered then and wonder now how we are going to ever clean this up. The debris field is so vast it's beyond comprehension. I am only working in a small area...you have to remember that the stories I am relaying are happening over and over in other communities around Mississippi and Louisiana.

Let me tell you a little about this storm for those of you who are not nearby. The scale of this compared to Camille in '67 was many many times wider...and the primary damage we are seeing is not typical for a hurricane. National Geographic is already down here examining what happened. State Farm is working with them to understand the complex nature of this behemoth of a storm. For example, there were over 100 tornados spawned from Katrina as she sped across the landscape. They did massive amounts of damage inland. The hurricane remained a category 1 or more level event for 10 hours after landfall. But the biggest tragedy that is natural (not the man made one that came to NO as a result of the levy breach) is the wall of water that came ashore here in southern Mississippi. Current estimates are that in places (like Diamondhead and Waveland) the wall was 50 FEET HIGH above the storm surge. That's right, ABOVE the surge you typically get with a hurricane, there was a 50 foot wall of water. Tsunami, tidal wave. It swept in, grabbed everything it could lay it's evil watery hands on and pulled it out to sea without mercy. I hope I do not live to see another hurricane like it.

I returned to my "mash" unit today with junk food and McDonald's in tow. Yes, McDonald's in Gulfport was open with a limited menu, so I bought a humungous box of quarter pounders, chicken sandwiches, Fries, Apple pies and whatever else they had to take for the claims teams working in the hardest hit areas. If they eat food that makes them happy, they will be kinder to those they see, or so my theory goes. I am impressed by the empathy they show over and over to people telling them what happened...they never seem to grow short tempered with anyone. Bless them, I wish I could send them all a big steak dinner, but McDonalds is what I have at my fingertips.
I'm going to write a letter to Mickey dees and tell them how nice the staff were at the one I bought out today...they could not have worked harder to help me keep our claims folks fed.
( State Farm has a catering arrangement, but it's pretty awful and/or boring most of the time).
And God bless Halloween candy. Junk food is bad most of the time, but when you are tired, stressed and away from home, junk food= comfort food.

When I finally got to the claim office and had unloaded, I walked over to a woman to offer her dog a drink while she waited in line to talk to a claim rep. We began to talk, or rather I asked a few open ended questions and she began to tell her story. She was here to file a claim on behalf of her parents ( not unusual as many retirees lived here). I asked her if she evacuated, and while she did, her parents did not. She told me she is trying to find their bodies...and desperately needs to find them to give them a proper burial. I put my arms around her and just let her have a good cry. I did not know what else to do. She may never find them as they may have been taken out to sea in the tsunami, but some things are too harsh to vocalize. And so I just held her.

This was not the only story of death I had today, but I will spare you all the remaining ones because they are overwhelming. There were people talking about how they are now living on the street because they have no family and have no home. But they are getting MRE's ( meals ready to eat) and there are port a potties EVERYWHERE and it has not rained, so it's a little like the open parking lots are your new home. But that's only going to last as long as the weather holds...then a stark reality is going to set in.

I worry about these people. I wish I could change things for them, but I cannot. I can only listen and do the few things within my power to help them.I can pray for them, and I will. I am concerned that once the shock and denial wear off, the despair will be more than many can bear. I worry a lot about these treasures of humankind that I have met over the past few days. I really do.

For those wanting to place blame at one level or another, the point is being missed. It is not the local, state or federal goverment that will bring these people back. It is the love of neighbors and friends, the kindness of strangers and the good will of the American people that will make this right. Because you see this is not about bureaucracy and bureaucrats. This is about the human need to love and be loved and cared for in return. The only thing that will heal these wounds is time and love and the efforts of others to help them build a new life. Not FEMA, not the military, not any government, though all have an administrative part to play in the logistics of the cleanup and in keeping the general order. It's YOU, it's Me, it's ALL OF US TOGETHER that will make this right. We have time, but none to waste. And we have God on our side, I know that to be true. Gosh, I hope we can all pull together and make this work for these wonderful people who have lost so much.

2 of the last people I saw were elderly. I asked about where they evacuated to...and to my surprise, they had not evacuated at all. I looked at their claim report and in fact they had very little damage. I was puzzled, because the homes on either side had been destroyed completely. They told me that they decided to stay because they did not want to leave their dog. Their children pleaded with them to leave, crying to them to listen to reason and evacuate. But they would not leave the dog behind, and they chose to place their faith in God, and let God decide rather they lived or died. They did not even board up or tape one window...and none broke. They had no water in the surge. I'm telling you, if they were not sitting right in front of me telling me this while I looked them in the eye, I would not have believed this to be true. They said they watched the storm rail against the trees and homes around them, but they were calm in God's grace. And God delivered them. And the children that pleaded with them to leave? They lost everything and are now moving into the blessed little house that survived and sheltered the parents. While I remember she told me her name was Phyllis, I do not recall his name, but I am going to refer to him from now on as NOAH. Their house? The Ark.

Thums up today:
God's grace
McDonald's!
MY husband who is such a good listener.
YOU! who are also good listeners
Pam, again for keeping the listserve alive
Miracles. They do happen, it's not just a legend.
antibacterial stuff that does not need water to clean your hands
Heck since the MS PD is busy, I can drive 95 on the interstate!

Thumbs down:
Port o potties! (Yick, yick yick, they do not age well AT ALL especially in the heat)
Bugs on my car! My husband is going to freak when he sees the layers of buggage on every part of his truck. Hope I find a car wash before I get home...


Love in our very wonderful Bond,
Audrey

Day# 6, moving away from the coast

Hello all!

As I got myself together to begin the journey back to NJ, life started to feel a little more like a real life...my life.
As I drove to Magee MS to stay overnight at Shellye McCarty's home, the storm damage began to ease off ( lots of damage here, but it looks more like most hurricane damage I have seen in the past) . I suddenly realized 2 things; I am glad I am not trying to drive far tonight...I'm far more tired than I thought, and darn it, it's practically raining fat nasty bugs!
Heck, they are mating on my windshield if I'm not killing them first! I can't even squeegee them off because they land on it while I'm cleaning it and then I have to start all over again!

I am going to take the time tomorrow and the next day driving home to consider all that the past few days has given me. I feel as though God has brought me to this place for a reason. It's been strange that I have had little inconvenience in my journey south. The worst moment was this morning when I was trying to re-attach the U-haul onto the back of my truck to take back to NJ. I jiggled that $%^%$^# thing every way I could figure and could not get it to settle onto the hitch. I called my husband and told him I could not figure it out~ to which he replied " Audrey, I am at the bank, and I am going grocery shopping after. I cannot come to Hattiesburg and help you. Figure it out." If I could have sent a raspberry thru the phone, I would have.
After sweating so badly that I needed a shower again, I stopped, prayed "Please God, Please let me figure this out. I can't do it without your help." And of course it then triumphantly slipped right onto the cradle. Clearly there was a message there that I needed. I need to remember that I am not in this alone, and God is in the details. I'm so glad, because I can now relax and remember that God can take car of the small stuff, and the big stuff too. And can take care of me on the way home.

While in Bay St. Louis, I spent time looking for Phi Mu sisters who were also insured with State Farm. I spent part of yesterday cross referencing our Phi Mu master list from the area with the State Farm client list from the area to find whomever I could and make sure they are okay. I found a woman named Margaret who lived in Diamondhead...but I did not have a claim listed for her and I got worried that 2 weeks had gone by and we had not heard from her. I called the number on the policy- but as expected it was inoperable as it was her house phone. I started to worry about how to find her.

And then God decided to show me that details are where I should look. The very next woman to sit down in front of me with a claim lived on the same street as Margaret! While she did not know her, I told her to give her a business card and have her call me.

About 20 minutes later the cell phone rang. While it was not Margaret, it was the woman I had been working with telling me that she found Margaret- in fact Margaret had just driven back into Diamondhead about 10 minutes before that and she gave her my card. She is well, her house has moderate damage but still stands. It is a wonder to me how out of all of the thousands of people we were to talk to that day, the one living on the same road would appear just as I was worried about how to manage it. I need to remember that I do not need to manage it at all.

Thumbs up today to:
Fried Catfish!
Gumbo! ( can you tell I have been eating out of a cooler for most of my meals?)
Squeegies and auto windshield cleaner!
Phi Mu.
My husband.

Thumbs down today to:
The coming travel time in the car...and the numb butt that will follow
I have to begin to obey the speed limit again :(

Love in our Bond,
Audrey

Day #7, recruitment and real life, my holy U-haul

Okay, now that I have your attention!

It's hard to believe I have been gone for a week. I feel like I have been away for a lifetime. I love my husband, but I have not even had the concentration to miss him while I have been gone. What a lousy wife I am...I don't even know what to say about that. Sometimes life is like a wave and you ride it to wherever it takes you I guess. And during the ride you do not always have time to think about anything other than trying to stay on the surfboard.

I drove away from Magee Ms today and made it to Clemson ( Go Tigers!) in South Carolina. The last 2 hours were a pain...I had it in my mind to make SC by the end of the day, but Altanta traffic kept me from making it in any reasonable amount of time. I'm glad to have a bed and a shower. God is good.

On the way east, I saw a lot of Fema homes heading west , which I saw as a good sign that help is on the way. But with so many people homeless, even the convoy of homes seems almost insignificant. But we have to start somewhere. There is always a beginning to every new story, and for many families those trailers will be a new start.

On the way east I also rode alongside a State Farm Catastrophe truck heading for the Carolinas...which was a little discouraging. From one hurricane to another...Sometimes the Property and casualty business is laden with bad timing. We can handle it, but I hate to stretch our claims staff to the limit. Katrina will require months of claims staff, so I'm hoping Ophelia will blow out to sea asap. Hey, if we all make a collective blow in an eastward direction, it just may work. Ready? one...two ...three... Blow! Heck, it can't hurt.

As Shellye and I were talking about the events of the past week, it occurred to me that a lot of the things I did in Bay St. Louis come from my days of recruitment parties. You know, you have to take an interest in people and draw out the story behind the person. It's about asking an open ended question, waiting for an answer, and then working off of the material they give you. And you know what? It's even about bump groups. When I would have a client that needed to talk to an auto claim rep ( I was working home and flood claims) I would do the bump...and intro them with a few bits of human interest to the claim rep so that they could help them and have a pleasant conversation with them at the same time. I can't tell you how many people came over to thank me for being so helpful...and all I did was give them an intro. But it made a difference. Thank you sorority recruitment, thank you Phi Mu. I hated those parties when I was in school, I cannot thank you enough for them now. They gave me skills for conversation and listening I never would have developed otherwise. Even with a Masters in counseling, I can tell the difference between the two things...and most of what I did this past week in Ms was from recruitment.

So, now the U-haul story, I know you are all waiting.

You know the deal with the hitch problem I had the other day when leaving Hattiesburg. So today I want to pull out of Shellye's parking lot and no matter which way I directed the Uhaul to back up, it would not do what I wanted. It was really starting to piss me off because I was about to drive thru Shellye's front garden to get out of her driveway. If I still could have gone back into her house to leave a 10k check to cover the landscaping damage, I would have done that and driven out of the driveway, that is how ticked I was with the thing. But after trying to straighten it out for 15 minutes, I finally got out of the car and walked to the back to see what I could do to try and straighten it out some other way. And them I realized I had left the gas can I brought on the front of the uhaul near the hookup. It was off the ground and not touching any moving parts, so was not interrupting the mess I was making of the exit from Shellye's driveway, but I had forgotten about it and would have driven off and dropped it in her driveway spilling whatever gas was in it...
And as soon as I put it away in the truck in a safe place, you know what happened. The #^%&$#! thing did what it was supposed to do 30 minutes before that. God was just not going to let me drive away until I had the gas can properly stowed. And so I was humbled by a gas can.
Then I decided to go thru the car wash to wash off some of the "nasty, hideous, overpopulated, sticky, doing the deed" bugs that were splattered to heavily on my windshield that nothing would come off anymore. So after I had committed to the car wash I remembered I had the %#^&% Uhaul on the back, but it was too late to stop the wash from going. I watched and prayed while that machine moved up and down the car that it would not hit the u-haul. And you know what? It came within 1/2 an inch, but just cleared it. However the bugs were back on the car by the time I drove 50 feet, so what a waste of 5.00 on the wash. The real benefit was in the constant recurrence of grace amidst frustration. Apparently I'm a slow learner.

Thumbs up today:
Shellye's wonderful hospitality
God in residence in my uhaul ( who would have thought?)
Making it to SC
State Farm Claims folks, keep them in your prayers....
Fema trailers
McHammer on the radio~ it was my exercise for the day!
Safe travel


Thumbs down:
My aching butt. I told you it was going to happen....
Hurricane Ophelia. Go east ! go east!


Love in our Bond ( and I'm on time before midnight for those who are asking for today's edition...)
Audrey

The big Rant, Day #8

Ahem...
> Stepping up onto the soap box<

In my own little private grieving process, I seem to have progressed today to the anger stage. The day began pleasantly enough, in fact I wondered what to even write to all of you today. But I stopped at a rest stop in South Carolina and on the way back to the car a man stopped to ask me for directions. Not being from the area ( and with 5 cartons of cigarettes in my hand for my husband- heck if he is going to smoke it may as well be cheap) he asked where I came from, where I was headed. I mentioned I was returning from Mississippi.
The questions he asked was innocent enough, but somehow after driving away it brought out a very angry part of me. He asked " Is it really as bad down there as the news portrays?" to which I replied " It's worse than you can imagine, and no news network can give it a fair viewing."
Next question he asked. " Did you go to New Orleans?" and I told him I had been in Bay St. Louis and Waveland all week. He sat and talked to me about the hurricane coverage for about 15 minutes... and mentioned all he ever saw was the New Orleans crisis. He knew nothing about the Mississippi devastation. When he drove off I got angry. I'm angry at the media for the constant focus on New Orleans and no focus on Mississippi. I'm angry the President Bush ( yeah he went to Gulfport for about 5 minutes this week, but hardly got any press) for feeding the squeaky wheel of the New Orleans Political machine. I'm angry that what is happening is that people are going to be so over fed with news from New Orleans that they are going to stop listening. And I'm mad that the good people of Bay St. Louis and Waveland are not being given a fair shake.
There is an entire humanitarian crisis happening there that no one is covering. People are living in parking lots and are without family, home or any means of long term survival. This is not a political football to be kicked between parties, nor is it an easy story for the media vultures to pick apart. People are suffering, people are dying, and all that is happening is that New Orleans is getting more and more press every day and the people on the Mississippi coast are being left in the dust.
I do not know how to change this. I do know that while New Orleans is a humanitarian crisis, the people living there are doing so by choice, not because they have a lack of alternative shelter. In Bay St. Louis I see people looking for shelter but who have none...THERE ARE NO BUILDINGS LEFT. There is no place to linger except the parking lot.
When we rely on the government and other agencies to fix things, we become spectators. I'm tired of being a spectator. I'm turning off my TV, and I'm not participating in the media circus anymore. I want to help the people who have been forgotten and overlooked ...somehow...by everyone. And having watched the media in my own community after the flooding from Hurricane Floyd in 99, I know that they have no compassion. They are there for the sizzle...the most sellable choice story that is easiest to find and easiest to tell. There is one big story in New Orleans...10,000 small human stories in Bay St. Louis and Waveland. Somehow that is disproportionate to the way it ought to be. Tomorrow on the way home, I'm going to think about how that could be different. And I am going to try and find a way to help the people of Mississippi in whatever way I think I can be most effective. I hope I find some guidance.
When I was thinking about this today, the song on the radio that popped up was "Help" By the Beatles.

Help, I need somebody,Help, not just anybody,Help, you know I need someone, help.When I was younger, so much younger than today,I never needed anybody's help in any way.But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.Help me if you can, I'm feeling downAnd I do appreciate you being round.Help me, get my feet back on the ground,Won't you please, please help me?And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,My independence seems to vanish in the haze.But every now and then I feel so insecure,I know that I just need you like I've never done before.Help me if you can, I'm feeling downAnd I do appreciate you being round.Help me, get my feet back on the ground,Won't you please, please help me.And that is how I feel the People of Bay St. Louis are crying out to us. They are asking for our help. I hope we respond. I know I'm going to try.

>stepping off the soap box now.<
Audrey

Imagine, Believe, Achieve! Day #9

I made it home! Woo Hoo!
My doggies were so excited to see me, my cats gave me he** for being away so long ( in keeping with cat etiquette of course)and my husband gave be a big hug and kiss and smile. It was truly the best gift...the love of those who know and understand you for who you are. Nothing on earth feels this good. But I'm betting that my bed will feel pretty close to that wonderful when I slip under the covers tonight. Looking forward to that so much that I may take a nap just to lay in my own bed.

It was good to rant yesterday. Thanks for listening. And thanks to Rhonda who emailed me with a few ideas that gave me a few more...and so in keeping with our new Phi Mu corporate theme, I'm actually going to imagine, believe and hopefully achieve something to help Bay St. Louis and Waveland.

IMAGINE
What it would be like if we could each leverage our community, work and Phi Mu resources to help rebuild this area. What if my town of Bound Brook NJ (having lived it's own nightmare of flood disasters in '96 and '99) were to sister city with BSL and WL to help them as a community? How about if my alumnae chapter makes a spouse event out of a week on the road to BSL and WL to work for habitat for humanity to rebuild sisters homes? Since I am a member of the missions committee at church, what if I speak to the committee and have my church run a 2 week program to BSL and WL much like the Appalachian service project to help rebuild the community? And if I asked my State Farm associates to band together to work with Habitat for Humanity~ a State Farm sponsored charity~ and received regional VP approval for employees to have time off from work to help rebuild homes lost in the flood? What if I wrote to Extreme makeover and asked them to consider taking on a whole town? I can imagine all of these things....

BELIEVE
And I Believe it can all happen. There are sisters on this list who know how to do Urban planning. Sisters who know how to help people thru the banking and finance process. Sisters who are attorneys who can help, Sisters who know technology and can aid in our communication, those who have spouses who can build, sisters who are in insurance who can help others figure out policy language, sisters who know Habitat for humanity first hand, and those who are brave enough to make this work. We can call it "The Katrina Project". I believe in these things because I believe in the strength we have as a team. And I believe God can handle the details.
Will it be easy? I do not believe it will be. Will it be rewarding? I believe it will be. Will we disagree, fight and become frustrated when things do not instantly fall into place? YES, I believe we will. But it should not deter us from making a difference.

Remember when I said it was YOU, ME, ALL OF US TOGETHER? I meant it. Time to put the focus on doing...enough talk.

ACHIEVE
We need a strategic plan and a set of volunteers. I'm on board. I'm prepared to give up personal time I could use for a vacation somewhere to make it work. I'm willing to set aside other things in my life to do this. I hope I find some others who will be willing to join me, in Phi Mu, In Church, In State Farm.

In the book of Esther, there is a part of the story when Esther is afraid for her life to approach the king to ask for help for the Israelites. Her brother, Mordecai says to her : " Who knows if you were brought to the kingdom for such a time as this?" and she overcomes her fears and asks the king for the favor of Mordecai's deliverance and is given her request. I believe God has called us for such a time as this. The remaining details I'll leave to him as he seems to have provided for the details all week.

Will any of you join me? If so, you are welcome to dictate the terms of your involvement, as much or as little as you like, using the talents you choose to gift. And if you wish to watch, that's fine too, we will need a cheering section!

The trip is over, the task set to begin. Who knew when I left 9 days ago I would come back to more work than I can think about? I'm scared, overwhelmed at the prospect ahead. But I am excited to do for others what I would they would do for me....which is a very loose translation of the line in our creed " To be to others what we would they would be to us".

Let's get busy.
Audrey

Update: 11/3/05
After much discussion with the various departments at State Farm, a proposal has been sent to Habitat for Humanity International in an effort to help build homes for Gulf coast residents effected by Katrina. Thank you State Farm for restoring my faith in big business. In addition, my church is scheduled to head down to Louisiana in March to have a work crew work on a habitat site for a week! What a wonderful congregation...how did I ever find you?

I am chairing, along with Susan Mahn and Ed Mahn a State Farm committee in New Jersey to raise funds for 2 Habitat for Humanity buildings...did you know it only takes 75k to build a Habitat home? Our proposal to the Morris County Habitat For Humanity is to work with us to build one home in a box to ship to Waveland/Bay St. Louis, and one home locally. Pray that we find generosity in our associates to make this happen. I believe we will.

For those who gave funds to help keep our collegiate members of Phi Mu in the chapters where we know that have a home, I thank you. You will be happy to know we did not lose even 1 member to financial straits after the storm from the Alpha Omicron chapter. They all remain part of the chapter with a new view of what sisterhood really means. Initiation is in 2 weeks...if I were attending, I'm sure I'd need a truckload of Kleenex to make it thru the ceremony. While I always thought I understood sisterhood, little did I know that the lessons of Phi Mu would continue to add to my life well into my midlife years. Sorority is irreplaceable. Sisterhood is precious. Thank you all for your generosity.

Audrey